Great Tips to Make “Mom Friends”
If you’re wondering How to Make Friends as a Stay-at-Home Mom, I’m here to help.
Poof! In the blink of an eye, when you become a mom your entire social identity changes. If you’re lucky, you already have a group of women/ moms in your life to ease the transition.
But, if you’re like me, becoming a mom set me adrift on an island, consisting of me and my sweet baby.
You might not realize it, but, as a parent, you join a natural community of people sharing a similar experience. The way you choose to come together simply boils down to your own effort and personality. Introverts, like me, might find the process more challenging, but it’s not impossible.
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Related Article: How to Transition to Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Where to Meet Parents
If you’re wondering where to meet mom friends in your area, you have a lot of options. Introverts may prefer to meet people online initially. If that’s the case, there are several ways to do that. If you’re ready to get out there, but just don’t know where to go, we’ve got that covered too!
Say what you want about social media, but one thing it does well is help people make connections. Near or far, it is a great way to instantly connect with people that share your interests.
Be as broad or as specific as you want. You can narrow your search to women with young children, or that have similar values, or maybe that share your faith.
The options are endless.
- Facebook– A quick search will provide a number of active mom groups for you to tap in to. Moms come together to share milestones, give advice and swap clothing, toys, etc.
- Twitter– Did you know that there’s a subset of Twitter referred to as “Mom Twitter?” Well, there is! I’m happy to have ‘met’ some great moms on Twitter. Not only moms, dads hang out there too. So, if you’re open to a barrage of dad jokes, I recommend you check it out.
- Instagram – This is a great platform for moms to show their personalities and interests. It’s also a way to connect, support and celebrate with each other.
- Pinterest – There’s not as much opportunity to interact with people on Pinterest, however, as a new moms, you have a visual album of tips, tricks, meals and stuff for baby at your fingertips. I’d consider this a resource, more than a way to create friendships.
Looking for mom friends? You’re in luck! There’s an app for that. Technology makes it easier than ever to help us solve our problems. These apps invite you to meet moms in your area. Meet virtually to start, then make plans out in the real world.
- Peanut – Make friends with other moms in your area that share common interests. It provides the opportunity to combine the convenience that social media gives with real life connections.
- Social.mom – Started by a lonely mom of two kiddos, Audrey said of Social.mom that it was, “An uplifting network of moms where we can cry together and also celebrate together.”
- Meetup – You might be familiar with Meetup through professional networking groups, or casual social groups, but it offers so many more ways of meeting and connecting with people.
- Nextdoor – This neighborhood app connects you with the people that live right around you! So, just by signing up, you’re halfway there. Not only can you keep up-to-date on any events taking place in your area, you can connect with other moms through the groups feature on the app.
Are you moving to a new area? Tapping into the apps or social media can help you make friends and familiarize yourself with the area in advance. By the time you arrive, not only will you have a new friend, but you’ll also be more familiar with your new home.
Out & About
Before social media, people met while out and about, while living their lives. It’s true!
These days, it’s far more common to meet people virtually. But, take a moment to consider who you run into when you’re not online.
If you look up from your screen, or better yet, put it away, you might realize that you see the same people when going about your day-to-day life.
From classes to the park and even your doctor’s office, you never know where you might find a new friend.
Look to your neighbors, or friends you may have lost touch with when they became parents. No need to wait until you have the baby to start making connections. If you meet some women expecting when you are, start developing those relationships before baby arrives!
Perhaps make connections through your OB. Ask whether they are aware of any mommy or prospective mommy groups. Doulas, midwives and lactation specialists can also be a good avenue for connection.
Classes usually take place over 4-6 weeks. The larger the area where you live, the more organized opportunities may be available to you. As you get more comfortable with the setting, you may find yourself talking to the same people each week.
Why not ask whether or not they would like to get coffee, ice cream, or a late dinner, after the next class? Chances are, they too are looking to make connections with other parents.
You never know, you just might make their day!
- Parenting Classes
- Childbirth Classes
- Lactation Support Groups
- Mommy & Me: Swimming, Yoga, Music, Storytime
- Church (Parenting groups)
If it hasn’t happened already, you will soon realize how much time you spend waiting around to take your kids home from one of their activities. And, the younger they are, the more time you spend loading and unloading your car. (Kids need so much stuff!)
Make use of this idle time. It just may offer another opportunity to chat with the other parents also stuck waiting around.
Also, don’t forget there are natural, almost forced opportunities to interact with other parents while supporting your kids. The PTA is one option, as well as room parent for some schools.
Fundraisers, fairs and assemblies are also places where parents congregate in groups.
- Team Sports
- School: Activities, Volunteering
- Classes/ Activities: Karate, Art, Dance
Why is Having Other ‘Mom’ Friends Important
Think about the people you befriended before you became a parent. What brought you together? When you’re young, friendship usually comes from proximity. You live in the same neighborhood or are in the same class.
But, as we get older, our friends start to align with our interests, attitudes and beliefs. We seek kinship and understanding from the people in our social circle.
It’s hard to convey the emotional weight of parenthood to your single friends. This is why having ‘mom friends’ may be important in your life.
Other moms are experiencing the same things you are. They can understand the exhaustion you feel to your core and how emotional you are about how your baby is developing.
Moms know, first-hand, what it feels like to have your life consumed by your little angel. Childless friends may find it harder to wave off unexpected spit up or a diaper blow out. Moms are not only unfazed, but willingly jump in to help get everyone cleaned up.
As a stay-at-home mom, having friends that understand what you’re going through can help you avoid isolation.
Spending hours alone with a baby that is always taking from you, can be depleting. Who better to understand when you just need a break!
It’s important for mom to have an outlet. Whether that’s a phone call, or a cup of coffee, or a message over social media. Not only can you spend time together, you can help each other with childcare and carpool.
Adult, human connection can help mom maintain not only her sanity, but also her identity.
Related Article: 24 Ways to Help New Moms
As you can see, there are several options for introverts and extroverts alike to make mom friends.
Friendship is beautiful and should be embraced and appreciated. Unlike family, friendship is a choice. We choose the people that we invite into our lives and share our most intimate thoughts.
By starting with social media, you can focus your search for people that meet your specific criteria. When you’re comfortable, make plans to get together, with or without your kids.
Should you replace your childless friends simply because you’re a mom? No, not at all.
But understand, as you are in different stages of your lives, they may not be as interested in your life as another parent.
Parenting an infant consumes all of your time, energy and mental/ emotional capacity. Add to that the pride and joy you feel for your little one; they comprise the totality of your every thought.
That kind of intense focus and devotion to your child is something all parents experience, but it doesn’t always translate to everyone we know.
It’s a good way to remain connected to the person you were before becoming a parent. Your new ‘mom friends’ are an addition to the people in your life; they are not there to replace anyone you cared for before.
Now that you know how to make mom friends as a stay-at-home mom, where do you think you’ll start first?
Related Article: Managing One Income to be a Stay-at-Home Mom
Have you experienced any challenges in making friends with other parents? Let me know what has, or hasn’t worked for you in the comments below.